Compliments
by azqwest
Summary: A reworking of the DerekLexie bar encounter from the end of S3. I didn't care for Shonda's version so I decided to create my own. MerDer.
1. Chapter 1

[A/N: I do not claim ownership of Grey's Anatomy in any way, shape or form. If I did, Shonda would be rewriting Season 3. I've had the Lexie/Derek bar encounter burning a hole in the back of my brain for a while, so I decided to do something with it. Some aspects of S3 do not happen in my story: the Yang/Burke wedding? Didn't happen. Derek asking to be put out of his misery? Didn't happen. Meredith saying "its so over…?" Didn't happen.

"Do you see them?" Cristina asked Izzie as they entered Joe's. The bar was teeming with the late after-shift hospital crowd and it was hard to hear over the din. It was an effort to work their way into the crowd.

Izzie looked around for familiar faces. She couldn't believe the size of the crowd. Happy for Joe's booming business tonight, but it was too many people for a weeknight. She was too tired to deal with too many people.

"I don't see anyone."

"You don't see anyone? Are you blind Barbie? This place is crawling with bodies." Cristina forged a path toward the bar with Izzie following in her wake. "How can you not see anyone?" Cristina needed alcohol right now. Meredith and Alex could catch up.

"Oh Cristina, you know what I meant. I didn't see Alex or…" Izzie paused as she spotted a familiar male head of dark curly hair at the far end of the bar. "Wait, there's Derek."

Cristina shifted direction, her eyes scanning the bar. "McDreamy's here?" A drunken patron stumbled back from the bar, stepping on Cristina's foot. "Watch it you lush before I remove your liver through your nose!" Cristina pushed the drunk back towards the bar.

"Did Meredith say Derek was meeting us?" Izzie was confused. She only knew of Alex and Meredith. George and Callie were a "maybe." Izzie craned her neck to take another look. Something was off with this picture. Someone had Derek's attention. He was smiling. It was a drunken smile, but it was a smile. And it wasn't at Meredith.

Izzie grabbed Cristina's arm as they neared the couple.

"Damn it Barbie, I'm tired of getting bounced…"

"Shut up! That's not Meredith with Derek."

Cristina and Izzie stopped a few feet from Derek, who was seated, a little unsteadily, at the bar next to a young, slim, dark-haired woman. Her hand lightly touched Derek's thigh as he sipped his drink. His elbow rested on the edge of the bar, along side four empty glasses. The drink in his hand clearly wasn't Derek's first of the night. And the woman, also a little tipsy, definitely wasn't Meredith.

The door continuously chimed, sounding as more people poured into the packed bar.

"I'm gonna kill him." Cristina stared at the couple. "I'm gonna kill that cheating bastard and throw the body under his damn trailer."

"Maybe Derek knows her. Maybe she's the daughter of an old friend. Or…"

Cristina rolled her eyes. "What are you, President of Fantasyland? Look where her hand is! That doesn't look like 'old family friend' to me."

Izzie nervously turned around to view the room. "Where's Mer? She can't see this. She…Alex!" Izzie jumped as Alex appeared next to her.

"Jeez, what's going on tonight – this place is packed."

Izzie looked past Alex. "Shut up Alex, where's Meredith?"

"She had to pee."

"Get her out of here." Izzie pushed Alex towards the restroom as bodies crowded around them. "Hopefully there's a line and Meredith is in it."

"What?"

"Evil Spawn, get Meredith out of here – NOW!" Cristina yelled in Alex's ear.

"Guys…" Izzie glanced at the opposite end of the bar, and pulled on Alex's coat sleeve.

"Damn it Yang!" Alex growled as he rubbed his ringing ear. "What the hell's going on?"

Cristina grabbed Alex by his coat lapels, and spun him again in the direction of the bathrooms. "She can't see Shepard like this. Take her home."

"Guys!" Izzie insisted.

Ignoring Izzie and Cristina, Alex pushed his way up to the bar and motioned to Joe for a beer. He was thirsty, and if Izzie and Cristina were acting weird, he needed alcohol. "Why, is Shepard drunk and disorderly? It's not like Grey hasn't been there and done that."

Joe set the beer in front of Alex. "She's been at it for a while." A none-too-happy Joe nodded toward Derek's companion.

"GUYS!" Izzie yelled.

"WHAT!" Alex and Cristina yelled back in unison.

"We're too late." Izzie said softly as she motioned toward the end of the bar, where Meredith stood in disbelief, her shot of tequila paused midway to her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

[A/N: I do not own GA. If I did, I wouldn't have to write this fic.

"Shit!" Cristina muttered as the threesome made their way to Meredith's side.

Meredith had exited the bathroom and found a small opening among the bodies bellied up to the bar. Able to ignore the crush of bodies and tune out the noise, she waited for Joe to deliver her usual shot of tequila and her friends to emerge from the crowd. Today sucked. Big time. In the history of bad days, today ranked at least number four. Stuck in the Pit all day, hip high in sutures and projectile vomiting. Feeling was just returning to her hand. And something was off with Derek. Had been for the past week. His distant demeanor worried Meredith. Derek's hovering behavior had gradually stopped recently. She didn't really notice until after the emotional pain from Thatcher's slap receded. Thatcher. He lost the right to be thought of as "father." Meredith briefly touched her cheek, remembering the sharp sting of Thatcher's open palm against her skin. She had waited for Derek at the house that night since he promised to come by. He never made it. Meredith still wondered what had happened to him. Glancing down at the cell phone clipped to her waist, she thought about calling him and inviting Derek to Joe's.

Meredith dialed his number and hit the send button.

When Joe set the shot down in front of her with a sympathetic "this is on the house," Meredith glanced up in confusion. As he moved away, and some of the crowd shifted, she spotted Derek and the collection of empty glasses in front of him. Looking like he wasn't feeling much pain. Meredith then noticed Derek wasn't alone. The woman's profile looked a little familiar, but Meredith couldn't place her. Maybe they had crossed paths at the hospital.

Meredith watched as Derek squinted at his cell phone, silenced her call and returned to his drink. Did Derek just silence her call? Her fingers tightened around the shot glass, raising it up. Meredith was stunned and quickly moving towards numb. Derek had silenced her call, and she watched as he smiled in response to something the woman whispered in his ear.

Izzie grabbed the glass from Meredith's hand and returned it to the bar top as Alex wrapped a protective arm around her waist.

"Come on Mer, let's go home." Meredith continued to stare at Derek and his drinking companion. Her brain was refusing to compute the tableau before her. Derek. Sitting drunk. In Joe's. With another woman. Yet knowing her friends were trying to remove her from the scene of the crime made it all that more real.

Cristina slid the shot glass back into Meredith's hand, guiding it to her lips. "Are you kidding? She needs this." Cristina signaled to Joe for another shot.

The burning liquid jerked Meredith back to reality. She set the empty glass on the bar and downed the second shot, not once breaking eye contact with the couple. Meredith ignored the urgent words between Alex, Izzie and Cristina as they discussed the best way to remove her from the scene. She wasn't ready to leave just yet.

Alex tightened his arm around her waist, trying to steer Meredith towards the door. "Come on Meredith, let's go."

"No."

"No?"

Meredith continued to stare at Derek as he chatted with the woman, almost willing him to look at her. He was leaning and smiling. The lean wasn't steady, but it was a lean. It was an inebriated imitation of "the lean."

Meredith felt her body go cold. The chasm between the two of them now seemed much bigger. Derek was walking away. Again. Why did the men in her life always walk away? First Thatcher, and now Derek. For the third time.

Cristina and Izzie each grab an elbow, pulling Meredith away. "Come on, let's go."

Meredith shook herself loose. "Stop it."

"Mer," Cristina urged. "Don't bother with McBastard. Come on."

Meredith motioned Joe over. "Joe, I know he's drinking scotch. What is she drinking?"

"Martini."

Meredith pulled some cash out of her pocket and set it on the bar. "Their next round is on me. Be sure to give them my compliments."

Joe slid the cash back toward Meredith. "I'll serve them, but your money isn't good here tonight."

Nodding, Meredith abruptly turned to face her friends while Izzie grabbed the bills. Meredith ignored the bile rising in the back of her throat. Derek had walked away.

So much for his always showing up promise. And who ever said "the third time's the charm" didn't know what the hell they were talking about.

"Let's go. I'm done here."

Alex, Cristina and Izzie looked at each other as Meredith made her way towards the door.


	3. Chapter 3

[A/N: I feel I need to point out that in my world, the interns' exam didn't happen. Even if I owned GA, it still wouldn't. 

"I made a promise to Ellis to watch out for Meredith. Believe me, Derek, this position will not leave room for her."

Derek frowned as he remembered the conversation. It had left a bad taste in his mouth that the scotch still couldn't erase. Any kind of perspective had escaped him. The anger at Webber consuming him all week was finally receding.

Smiling as her hand continued to rest on his thigh, Derek shifted, hoping to dislodge it. The brunette had been flirting with him for the last half hour. Derek responded to her running chatter, smiling now and then but not really keeping track of the conversation or her alcohol consumption. He had come to Joe's to sit and drink. And think about Meredith. Once again, she had kept him at arms length this week. Susan died, and Thatcher slapped her, sending Meredith running. Away from him.

After his fourth scotch, Derek found himself accepting her offer to buy him a drink.

Finally he grabbed her hand and moved it to the bar top. The woman pouted.

Derek found brief comfort in being just a guy in a bar, drinking, and thinking about his girlfriend. "I'm just a girl in a bar" crossed Derek's mind in hazy remembrance as he sipped his fifth glass of scotch.

Her movements filled the air with an expensive, heavy scent. Derek found himself thinking about lavender and how he missed it.

Derek despised the space that had sprung up between them, and needed to find a way to bridge it. With Susan's death, though he knew she wouldn't admit it, Meredith lost another mother. And Thatcher. Derek frowned as he thought of Meredith's father. Grief was expected, understandable and acceptable. Slapping Meredith was not. It was probably a good thing Meredith didn't ask him to accompany her to the funeral. Grief-stricken or not, he would have set Thatcher straight.

Derek's phone vibrates. Fumbling, he glances at its screen. All the alcohol consumed this evening made small print impossible to read. Silencing the call, he returned to his drink, planning a trip to the bathroom to get rid of all the scotch and listen to any messages.

The sound of glasses roughly set on the bar top roused Derek from his tipsy musings.

"Thank you for my refill." The woman leaned forward to whisper into Derek's ear. Her lips lightly brushed his ear as she spoke, and Derek vaguely noted the contact without any real interest. God, he wished he could focus. Time to go home. Time to have Joe call a cab.

Derek looked at the fresh drinks and then to Joe.

"Compliments of Meredith." Joe ground out.

The scotch-induced fog slightly lifted as Derek stared at Joe. It took a little effort to wrap his soaked brain cells around the word. "Meredith?"

Both men ignored the "who's Meredith?" uttered by the dark-haired woman as she grabbed the fresh drink.

Joe nodded in the direction of the door as its chimed sounded.

Derek abruptly stood up and stared, catching a glimpse of Cristina's black curly hair before the door slammed shut. "Shit!" the woman muttered as Derek's quick movement knocked the drink from her hand, drenching her slinky black silk top.

Derek started to move towards the exit as Joe reached across the bar and grabbed his sleeve.

"You saved my life once Doc, so let me return the favor. I don't want to see you back in here tonight." Joe nodded towards the wet, confused-looking woman.

Jerking his arm free, Derek moved quickly through the crowd and to the door. Not quite walking a straight line, Derek bumped into bodies as he forced this way forward. A sense of dread rapidly filled Derek as he pushed on the door. A rush of cool air hit his skin, bringing a sense of focus.


	4. Chapter 4

[A/N: Many thanks for the kind comments. This is my first fic, and I'm glad it is being enjoyed. And as for the usual disclaimer, I have nothing to do with GA. Just royally ticked off over S3.

Cristina, Izzie and Alex walked Meredith across the parking lot.

Izzie reached for Meredith's purse. "Mer, where are your keys? You shouldn't be driving."

"I can't believe that sonofabitch!" Alex growled. "How in the hell could he do this?"

"Meredith?" Cristina stared at her person in concern. They were almost to the Jeep and Meredith hadn't spoken a word since exiting the building. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

The echo of rapid footsteps halted the group in their tracks. Alex, Cristina and Izzie looked at each other as Meredith stared blindly ahead. Alex and Cristina shared a look of understanding. "Izzie," Alex said. "Help me get Meredith to the Jeep."

"Give me the keys." Alex held out his hand to Izzie as he guided Meredith into the front passenger seat. Izzie climbed into the back seat.

"Alex, I'm fine. I can drive." Meredith murmured.

Alex ignored her protest. "Buckle up."

Meredith sighed as Alex closed her door and made his way around to the driver's side.

"Meredith." Meredith closed her eyes and fell back against the seat as Izzie laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. She wasn't in the mood for Izzie's words of hope, sunshine and happiness. She was tired. The numbness encasing her body earlier was starting to wear off. The pain seemed to radiate from her chest. Meredith wanted to crawl into a dark hole and hide.

"I'm fine Izzie…" Meredith turned to look out her window. Derek and Cristina were a few yards away. She was surprised to see Derek had followed them out of the bar.

Glancing over his shoulder as he started the car, Alex snorted as he spotted Derek and Cristina. "I almost pity Shepard."

Izzie watched Cristina's successful attempts at keeping Derek from reaching the car. "Shut up and drive Alex."

Cristina greeted the neurosurgeon, blocking the way as he moved to jog around her. "Don't move jackass."

"Dr. Yang, get out of my way," Derek stumbled as he came to a quick stop. Watching as Alex helped Meredith into the front passenger seat of her Jeep, he grimaced as Cristina roughly grabbed the front of his sweater. Her nose wrinkled at the strong smell of scotch wafting her way. She quickly released the handful of material. "God McDreamy, did you drink the place dry?"

Derek watched helplessly as Meredith's jeep left the parking lot. He knew he had to talk to her tonight.

Cristina shook her head in disgust. "How in the hell could you do that to her? After all the shit you put Meredith through this year, how-in-the-hell-could-you-do-that?" Her slim index finger forcibly jabbed Derek's chest in emphasis of each word.

Derek did his best to stay upright and survive the painful jabs. "I didn't do anything Dr. Yang."

"You didn't do anything? You're kidding right? You weren't sitting at the bar practically wearing that brunette?" Cristina turned sharply away from Derek and walked to the motorcycle parked a few cars away.

"Cristina," Derek yelled. "I had too much to drink, and nothing happened. I didn't do a god damn thing wrong."

"Keep telling yourself that Shepard," Cristina's motorcycle roared to life as she strapped on her helmet. The big bike rolled towards Derek, causing him to step backwards. It stopped, pinning Derek against a car. "I hope you realize that you've hurt Meredith for the last time." Cristina revved the engine. "Right now you're not my boss. Right now you are Meredith's drunken ass ex-boyfriend with a slutty bimbo on the side. You have hurt my person for the last time."

Derek frowned, trying to remember. "Bimbo…?"

The taillight of Cristina's bike blinked once as she exited the parking lot. She left Derek leaning against the car, running a tired hand down the length of his face as he groaned in frustration. All he wanted tonight was to sit, drink and think.

"Dr. Shepard…?"

Derek looked up into the concerned faces of Drs. George and Callie O'Malley.

"Are you okay, Dr. Shepard?"

With pain and regret, Derek slowly shook his head. "No, I'm not okay."


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N: Still not claiming any of the show. Besides, I wouldn't touch S3 with a 10-foot pole. And I greatly appreciate the comments - thank you!)

George and Callie enter Joe's, weeding their way through the sea of bodies to the bar.

"George, I don't think we should get involved."

George motions to Joe. "I don't have a choice."

Callie looks at George. "You mean we don't have a choice?"

"No, I mean me," George shrugged. "I don't think arranging for a cab for Dr. Shepard is hurting anything. I can take care of this. Besides, I'm sure Meredith wouldn't want me to leave the man stranded. And…"

"…and he is our boss."

"The man is our boss. I still need to worry about getting into surgeries." George kissed Callie's cheek. "You don't."

"Hey George, Callie, what'll it be?" Joe wiped off the bar top.

"We'll take a couple of beers and a cab for Dr. Shepard."

"Is he still upright and mobile?" Joe questioned as he reached for the phone.

Callie and George exchanged a look, waiting for Joe to end the call. "Uh, yeah. Why wouldn't he?" George stuttered.

Serving up the beers, Joe tilted his head towards the woman a few stools over drunkenly dabbing a towel at the wet stains on her shirt. "That one was trying to get pretty friendly with him."

Callie reached for her glass. "Did he return the friendliness?"

Joe shook his head. "Not really. Unfortunately, Meredith was here to see his drunken stupidness in action."

George gasped as the woman turned her head in their direction. "Dr. Grey?"

She smiled at George. "Dr…Mall?"

Joe and Callie exchanged a confused look. "Grey?"

Ignoring the questioning look on Callie's face, George moved forward. "That's O'Malley. Dr. O'Malley."

"Where's Dreamboat?"

Determined to get a few answers, Callie extended her hand before George could respond. "Hi. I'm Dr. Callie O'Malley."

"Dr. Lexie Grey." Lexie toyed with the towel she was holding. "Are you two related?"

"We're married," Callie snorted.

"Oh, that's nice…"

"You sound a little disappointed…"

George motioned to Callie to stop talking. Callie silently challenged him before continuing. "Who's Dreamboat?"

Lexie swooned. "He has really good hair."

Joe coughed. "He's probably bald by now."

The news made Lexie teary. "Why? He has such pretty hair!"

George grabbed the seat next to Lexie. He knew Callie will kill him later, but George had no doubt this called for his involvement. After all, this affected his family.

"Dr. Grey, we need to talk about, er, Dreamboat…"


	6. Chapter 6

(A/N: Once again, I do not claim any part of Grey's Anatomy. I'm borrowing the characters for my own entertainment. Thanks to all for reading and commenting!)

Callie stood off to the side as George sat next to Lexie, issuing a stern warning about staying away from Derek. From the glazed look on the woman's face, Callie knew George's words were not registering.

"I'll be right back." George excused himself and headed to the restroom. Callie placed her empty beer can on the bar, and approached Lexie.

"I know you're not understanding much of what George just said to you about Derek. But I've always been a big believer of action speaking louder than words." Callie stepped behind Lexie's bar stool. "I know you will remember action more than words tonight."

Grasping the uprights of the bar stool, Callie pulled – hard. Lexie landed on the floor with a hard thud, her jeans soaking up the rest of the spilt alcohol.

"Stay away from Dreamboat, er, Derek."

Settling up with an amused Joe for their drinks, Callie went to wait for George.

(gagagagagagagagagagagagagagagaga)

"Is Mer asleep?"

Izzie shook her head and contemplated the meager contents of the kitchen fridge. They really needed groceries. "No. She's pretending to be asleep, but I know better."

"What the hell was Shepard thinking?" Alex accepted the cold can of beer from Izzie and grabbed a seat at the kitchen table.

Popping open her can of beer, Cristina leaned back in her chair. "Who cares? He's done."

Izzie shrugged. "I doubt he was thinking. Did you see all those empty glasses? There were what, 4 or 5? I bet he was drinking on an empty stomach."

Cristina looked at Alex and raised her can of beer in his direction. "Welcome back to Fantasyland."

"And who was the skanky brunette? Man, I thought the dude had better taste."

Gasping, Izzie spit out her beer. "Damn it Alex, warn me first. Skanky?"

Cristina threw a couple of napkins in her direction. " 'Skanky' fits."

"Hell yeah. Shepard was robbing the skank cradle." Alex nodded.

"Skank cradle?"

"What's wrong with skank cradle?"

"Nothing Alex," Izzie chuckled. "Nothing."

Meredith could hear their voices as she tiptoed down the staircase and past the kitchen door. She loved her family for being there for her, but right now Meredith needed some space and fresh air.

The door quietly shut behind Meredith as she stepped out onto the porch into the weak glow cast by the low-wattage porch light. Glancing to the right, the porch swing was a few steps away. She stared at it for a moment. Normally Meredith would have taken a seat on the old swing. Now it was too closely associated with Thatcher. She made a mental note to have it hauled away this week.

Meredith sat down on the top step, on the side not touched by the porch light.

Her sweatpants and long-sleeve t-shirt provided some protection against the crisp night air. She shivered, which meant she was starting to feel again. She didn't want to, but Meredith knew she couldn't avoid it anymore.

Meredith stared at her slippered feet as her mind wandered, her long dark blonde hair hanging loose and half covering her face. The brunette in the bar. And Derek. Derek and the brunette in the bar. She almost wished she could have stayed to see the look on their faces when Joe delivered the drinks.

A long suppressed tear rolled down Meredith's cheek. Followed by another. Though she knew deep down that Derek wouldn't cheat on her – it still pained Meredith to see them together. He wouldn't cheat – but he would walk away. He's done it before. Twice. First when Addison appeared, and then after her appendicitis operation. And lately he hasn't been around much. But if she was honest with herself, Meredith would admit that she didn't actively seek Derek out this past week. Not when she should have. How did things go so wrong?

Using her sleeve, Meredith wiped at her wet face.

"Meredith?"


	7. Chapter 7

Meredith looked up at the sound of his voice. Derek stood a little unsteady before her. The sad look in his blue eyes was mirrored in her grey-green gaze.

"If you're here to thank me for buying the next round, your special trip isn't needed. You could have called."

"Meredith." Derek sighed heavily, taking a seat next to Meredith on the step. The smell of scotch still clung to him. Meredith shifted away.

"God Derek, drink much?"

Resting his elbows on his bent knees, Derek buried his face in his hands. "Tonight, unfortunately, yes. Too much."

Meredith decided to rip off the band-aid. To hell with her banner of avoidance. "Go ahead and say it."

Derek glanced cautiously at Meredith. "Say what?"

Meredith gestured between them. "That this is done."

"Why would I say that?"

"It looked like it tonight." Meredith nervously toyed with the hem of her t-shirt. "You were walking away. Again. But with her."

Derek closed his eyes in hearing the sadness and pain in Meredith's voice. "Mer," he whispered. "There is no 'her.' And I'm not going any where." God, his heart felt so tight. "Unless you want me to."

Meredith sniffed, the curtain of her hair obscuring her face. Derek resisted the urge to tuck the silky strands behind her ear so he could see her face.

"Meredith," Derek ran a tired hand down his face. "I have an idea of what you think you saw, but nothing happened. You think something did, and I'm sorry. For whatever you think you saw, for what you're thinking, feeling right now, I'm so sorry."

Derek didn't know what to make of Meredith's continued silence. He thanked God for the bit of sobering up he received during the cab ride over. Throwing up the excess scotch in the parking lot after the O'Malleys left also helped.

"I went to Joe's tonight to get perspective. About us. We seem to be drifting apart, and I needed to figure out how to reverse it. I didn't want to sit another night in my trailer, so, I went to Joe's. Somehow the flow of scotch didn't stop. I was so wrapped up in thinking about us, I didn't really notice who or what was sitting next to me, let alone how much I drank."

"Why did you silence my call?"

Derek frowned. "You called me?"

Meredith nodded. "In the bar, before I knew you were there, I called to invite you to Joe's for a drink." She stared straight ahead at the front yard, afraid to glance in Derek's direction. Meredith was afraid of his reaction.

She missed Derek's smile. "You wanted me to come for a drink?"

"And I watched you silence my call…" Meredith trailed off.

As quickly as his smile appeared, it was gone. He vaguely remembered silencing his vibrating phone. Unclipping the phone from his waistband, Derek flipped through the list of incoming calls. The last one had been from Meredith.

"I didn't know it was you," Derek's voice was full of remorse. "Joe's was so noisy, I couldn't hear. I couldn't even focus on the display to see who was calling."

"Seriously?" Meredith whispered. She chanced a quick sideways glance at Derek.

Derek sensed a small crack in the defensive wall Meredith built since leaving Joe's. Un-noticed by Meredith, he scooted a little closer to her. "Yeah.

The late night chill caused Meredith to shiver again. Derek watched as she rubbed her arms, trying to keep warm. Should he, or shouldn't he?

Meredith heard Derek slide along the top of the step and felt his arm sneak around her waist. She didn't resist as Derek drew her against his side.

Derek sighed as Meredith leaned into him. Pressing his lips lightly against her forehead, Derek whispered, "I miss you." He wanted to say so much more, but wasn't sure if Meredith would listen tonight.

The vice-like grip around her heart eased a little at Derek's admission. Meredith knew she still loved him. She was in this thing. She wasn't walking away. But she couldn't, with any degree of certainty, say the same for Derek.

Meredith finally raised her head and looked into his piercing blue eyes. The emotion she found there took her breath away. "I miss you too."

Derek's gaze darkened as he watched Meredith's lips form the words. Lowered his head the slight distance needed to make contact, Derek's lips rested lightly against Meredith's mouth. Not moving. As if seeking permission to continue.

From that slight contact, a thousand radiant points of heat rolled through Meredith's body. Cupping his face in her hands, Meredith pressed her lips against Derek's before pulling back. As much as she wanted to continue that kiss, Meredith couldn't. Not until the air was fully cleared.

Confused, Derek looked at Meredith.

"Derek, we need to talk, but not tonight." She stood up and extended her hand to him. "And you are crashing on the couch for tonight."

Derek let Meredith pull him up from his seat on the step. He knew Meredith was right. Misunderstandings needed to be cleared up once and for all. They had to find a way to use their words on a regular basis. Derek knew he has to tell Meredith about his conversation with Dr. Webber about the Chief of Surgery position.

Derek locked the front door and followed Meredith into the living room. He watched as she pulled a blanket and pillow out from a small trunk behind the couch.

"Mer, there is something I need to tell you."

"Not tonight Derek," Meredith shook her head. "In the morning, after large amounts of coffee." She knew they both had tomorrow off. Plenty of time to talk.

"I'll be right back," Meredith touched Derek's cheek. "I have a pair of your sweats upstairs." Before she could take another step Derek drew her into his arms, and held her close against him. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled. Meredith smiled and wrapped her arms around his back, running her hands up and down in a slow, soothing manner. They stood that way for a few moments, enjoying the simple contact.

"You're welcome to take a shower before bedtime," Meredith whispered in his ear. She could feel his nodded response.

"You can't be serious!" A voice yelled from the doorway.


	8. Chapter 8

(A/N: Many thanks to everyone reading and commenting. I appreciate each and every comment!)

Derek and Meredith turned to look at a pissed off Cristina standing in the doorway. Alex pushed his way past Cristina as Izzie paused beside her.

"What the hell is going on here?" Alex stormed into the living room and yanked Meredith away from Derek.

"Dr. Karev…" Derek sighed. He was exhausted and had hoped to avoid Meredith's friends tonight.

Alex pushed Meredith behind him. "Don't worry Mer, I'll get rid of him."

"I've got dibs," Cristina interrupted as she grabbed Derek by the arm and pulled him toward the door. "I warned you that you hurt Meredith for the last time," she muttered over her shoulder to Derek.

"Dr. Yang, this isn't necessary. Meredith and I…"

"Stop it!" Meredith yelled. Alex turned and pulled Meredith in a hug meant to provide comfort but all it did was fuel Meredith's anger. She struggled but Alex tightened his hold. "Cristina, let him go!"

Izzie stood in the doorway, uncertain of what to do. She was as shocked as the others when they spotted Meredith and Derek together. But while Alex and Cristina were moved by anger to act, Izzie noticed the comforting hold Meredith had on Derek, the soothing motions of her hands against his back. That was not the action of a woman in pain or anger. It was the action of a woman still in love with her man. Izzie looked over to Meredith and saw the anxious look in her eyes. She blocked the doorway as Cristina and Derek approached.

"Let him go."

"Step aside Barbie. Ass whooping coming through."

Crossing her arms across her chest, Izzie drew herself up to her full height, towering a few inches over Cristina.

"I said," Izzie spoke slowly. "Let him go."

Cristina stopped, and looked up Izzie. "What is your problem?"

"I like you Cristina, I really do. But if you don't let Derek go like Meredith asked, I will kick your ass."

Cristina weighed her options for a moment. "Fine," she dropped Derek's arm as if it were something nasty and walked over to where Alex stood holding Meredith.

Izzie gave Derek a stern look. "Derek, please don't make me regret this."

Derek heard Izzie's softly spoken words. He admired the loyalty of Meredith's friends, but was grateful to Dr. Stevens for stopping Dr. Yang. The last thing he wanted was to "discuss" the situation further with Cristina.

Meredith pushed Alex away and walked over to Derek, stepping in front of him. She touched Izzie's arm in appreciation. Alex and Cristina wondered what hell was going on, but their confusion quickly escalated into a pissing match over who would draw first blood.

"Meredith, you're tired and upset. I'll drag …"

"I told you Evil Spawn, his ass is mine!"

"Shut your hole Yang," Alex growled. "Mer, why are you…"

"Will you all just SHUT UP!" Meredith yelled. "If anyone is going to kick someone's ass around here, it will be me!"

"Meredith, you don't have to…" Derek whispered in her ear. She turned and placed her index finger in warning against his lips.

"Don't speak."

"Yes ma'am," Derek smirked and kissed her finger. Meredith smirked in return.

"You don't get to do that. This mess is your fault."

Derek solemnly nodded his head once in acknowledgement.

Meredith turned back to her friends. "Alex, Cristina, leave Derek alone. Do not lay one finger on him. I am the only one with that right."

"But Meredith, you saw what he did." Alex protested, flashing back to the look on her face as they left Joe's.

"Mer, you can't be serious?" Cristina questioned.

"Look. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. Derek is sleeping on the couch tonight," Meredith looked at Cristina. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Alex elbowed Cristina. "Yeah Yang, we want to go to sleep."

Cristina elbowed Alex sharply in the side. "Stick it, Alex."

"Guys…" Mother Hen Izzie warned Alex and Cristina.

Cristina walked towards the door, stopping in front of Meredith. She looked Meredith straight in the eyes, seeking some sign that her person was being forced to protect Shepard. Though she wouldn't admit it, Cristina recognized the deep affection lurking in their depths.

Meredith stepped forward and hugged Cristina. As is her custom, Cristina didn't return the hug but took the opportunity to shoot a dirty look at Derek. He stared back for the few moments it took Cristina to blink first.

"You know this constitutes hugging."

"Shut up, you're my person." Meredith retorted. "Now go home."

Izzie called out to Alex. "Come Alex, let's go upstairs."

Alex wiggled his eyebrows. "Sure Iz."

"You're such a pig Alex," Izzie rolls her eyes as she leaves. "Goodnight Mer. Goodnight Derek."

Meredith stops Alex before he leaves, hugging him tightly. "Thank you Alex."

Derek looks away as Meredith kisses Alex's cheek. He knew Alex and Meredith were only friends, but he couldn't control the twinge of jealousy at the sight of her lips against his skin.

Alex returns the hug, placing a brotherly kiss against her forehead as he silently wills Derek to look at him. At that moment, Derek looks up. The men stare at each other in mute challenge until Meredith unknowingly breaks the deadlock.

"Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Mer." Ignoring Derek, Alex exits the living room.

Meredith turned to Derek.

"Goodnight Derek." Kissing his cheek, Meredith followed Izzie and Alex upstairs.

Derek sighed heavily as he turned off the lights and collapsed on the couch.


	9. Chapter 9

(I'm sorry this update is on the short side. Short, but kind of important. Again, many thanks for the comments!)

"Mer."

The soft sound of her name drifted across the comforting layer of unconsciousness. She couldn't understand why, so Meredith burrowed deeper under her pillow.

"Mer…"

This time, her name was followed by a gentle nudge, disturbing the same comforting layer of unconsciousness. Meredith very reluctantly pulled her head out from under the pillow. Squinting at the alarm clock, it reads "415 a.m." Meredith keeps squinting. Why was she up so early? After falling into a deep sleep a few hours earlier, and not scheduled to work today, there was no reason for her to be awake right now.

Meredith's head dropped like a dead weight on her pillow. But slowly rises back up as her nostrils detect the wonderful smell of freshly brewed coffee.

"Mer. Wake up." That damn voice again, and another nudge.

Meredith opened her eyes, trying to focus on the large coffee-smelling object sitting on the edge of her bed. After pulling herself up into a seated position against the headboard, a full mug of coffee is pressed into Meredith's hands and guided to her lips. Carefully sipping the hot liquid, Meredith tries focusing again.

"Alex, you'd better be dying."

Sipping his own mug of coffee, Alex chuckled at Meredith's morning voice. Her voice drops an octave, sounding a little gravelly and a little sexy.

"I'm sorry Mer, but I need to talk to you before I go. So drink up." Alex took a deep breath, knowing his topic of conversation may not go over well.

Meredith took another sip. She had a pretty good feeling Alex wanted to talk about Derek. "Couldn't this wait until after your shift?"

"Nope." Alex waited a moment for the caffeine to do its job and Meredith to become a little more focused. "What the hell are you doing with Shepard?"

"Jeez Alex, are you channeling Cristina?"

Alex shrugs. "Maybe. We both want to kick his ass."

Meredith smirks into her mug. "So do I."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because." Meredith sighs deeply. "Things haven't been good between us recently…"

"That's no excuse for what he did last night," Alex cut in.

Resting the mug of coffee on her lap, Meredith pushed up the sleeves of her Dartmouth t-shirt. "I'm not sure he did anything." Meredith held up a hand to stop Alex from interrupting. "We talked before you guys came in. He had too much to drink and she came on to him."

"And you believe him?"

"There's no reason not to," Meredith shrugged.

"Does the name Addison ring a bell?"

"Yes," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Which reminds me, tell Cristina to meet me at Joe's tonight."

"Only if I'm invited." Alex replied. He wondered why Meredith would return so soon to the scene of the crime. He was already planning on visiting the bar tonight and talk to Joe.

"Sure. Since you woke me up you can buy me a round or two or three." Meredith shrugged.

"Are you bringing Shepard?"

"It'll be up to him." Meredith drained the rest of her coffee and swapped mugs with Alex.

Alex watched as Meredith finished off the contents of his mug. Sitting against the headboard with a serious case of bed head, and face free of makeup, Meredith reminded him of his little sister – if he had had one.

Wiping her mouth with one hand, Meredith handed the empty mug back to Alex with the other.

"Mer…"

"Alex…"

"You know I'm only watching out for you, right?" Alex stood up, a mug in each hand.

She nodded once.

Shifting the mugs to one hand, Alex ruffled the top of Meredith's head. "And if you tell anyone, I will deny it."

"Evil Spawn to the end." Meredith chuckled.

"Evil Spawn to the end."

"Even If I did, I doubt anyone would believe me." Meredith slid down under the comforter. One and a half mugs of coffee shouldn't prevent her from falling back asleep.

Laughing out loud, Alex headed out into the hallway, closing the door behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

(Your comments are greatly appreciated!)

Izzie perched on the edge of the coffee table, trying to be patient but aware she was running out of time. She and Alex had to leave for Seattle Grace shortly. She stared at the body of Dr. Derek Shepard, face down on their couch, softly snoring.

Izzie reached for her coffee mug, careful not to knock over the other full mug. Glancing at the clock again. Oh, screw it. She pushed against his shoulder.

"Derek, wake up!"

"Hmmpf." Derek shifted away from Izzie.

Izzie tried again, louder and harder. "Derek!"

A startled Derek sat upright, wildly looking around. "Meredith! What? Huh?"

Izzie shoved the coffee mug in his face. "Morning!"

The blank, bleary-eyed look on Derek's made Izzie chuckle. As did his bed head. She carefully waved the mug under his nose. "It's coffee."

"What are you doing Dr. Stevens?"

"The question is Derek, what are you doing?"

"It's too early for me to interpret girl flip out attitude." Derek sipped from the mug. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I need to know why in the hell you're cheating on Meredith. After all the crap you put her through, why?"

Coming down the stairs, Alex felt better after talking with Meredith. He had been really afraid Derek's behavior last night would bring back her thing – drunken sex with inappropriate men. But she was handling it much better than he expected. Hearing the murmur of voices, Alex paused at the bottom of the stairs. It can be only be Izzie and Shepard. Setting the coffee mugs on the hallway table, Alex walked across to the doorway. He paused outside it.

"I didn't cheat on Meredith. I would never do that to her."

"We saw you Derek. Hell, the whole bar saw you."

"There was nothing to see."

"You were smiling and leaning."

"Leaning?"

"Yeah, the McDreamy lean."

Alex chuckled. Sad to say, he knew what Izzie was talking about. And he'd never admit to it.

"Dr. Stevens, this is between Meredith and…"

Izzie cut him off. "No, this is between all of us. What you do to Meredith affects all of us."

Alex nodded in agreement. You tell him, Iz.

"You know she loves you. Yet you were sitting in Mer's bar with some bar stool babe and looking like you were enjoying it." Izzie drew a deep breath. "Why do you guys, when you know a woman cares about you, run off and screw with another woman?"

Screw another woman? Did Shepard do that? Alex clenched his fists, ready to rush into the living room to pummel the good doctor's face in.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't that drunk. And no one screwed."

"You were that drunk. And being with the bar stool babe was practically the same thing."

Derek's head fell backward against the couch cushion. It was too damn early for this.

"Bar stool babes, nurses. Same thing." Izzie grumbled.

Nurses. Oh shit. Alex grimaced, flashing back to an on call room, Olivia and Izzie opening the door.

Nurses? Derek was confused. "Dr. Stevens…"

Izzie mentally kicked herself hard for mentioning nurses. She jumped up. "It's time for me to go. Bye!"

She hurried through the doorway, surprised into stillness to see Alex standing there. He looked at her, a touch of regret in his eyes.

"Izzie."

Izzie brushed passed him. "Let's go."

Derek finished the coffee. Did he really do that? Look like he was cheating? God, even if he drank Joe's dry, he couldn't do that. He knew he couldn't. Not to the woman he's been in love with…forever. Meredith. Just thinking of her twisted his lips into a small grin. Picturing her upstairs in bed, burrowed under the bedding, soft, warm and lavender scented. Derek shifted as he felt a familiar tightening of his body.

Setting the mug on the coffee table, Derek stood up and stretched. Padding barefoot, he made his way up to Meredith's room. Slowly opening the door, Derek stood in the doorway and took in the sight of sleeping Meredith. On her side, under the comforter, in his favorite t-shirt, her hair loose and spread over the pillow. Derek stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind him. Trying not to wake her, Derek slid into the bed behind Meredith. Spooning her, Derek slipped his arm around her waist, nestling against her back. With a deep, heartfelt sigh Derek let sleep overtake him as he felt Meredith's hand intertwine with his.


	11. Chapter 11

Hot.

It was hot. Along her back. Almost furnace-like.

Sleepily, Meredith tried to shift but the weight across her waist prevented it.

Huh?

Nose itch.

Straddling the line between slumber and consciousness, Meredith's brain sent her hand a signal to scratch. But the hand wouldn't move. Slowly cracking open an eye, Meredith tried to focus on her hand. It looked different. More fingers. Manly fingers. A man's hand?

"Morning." The word was whispered into her ear.

Meredith smiled. Only one person could send shivers through her with a single word. A single touch.

"Itch."

"Hmmm?" Derek muttered, pulling Meredith closer.

Meredith tried moving her hand to demonstrate. "My nose itches and I can't reach it."

She felt his chuckle before it reached her ear. Derek moved their joined hands toward Meredith's face, and she rubbed them over her nose. Meredith kissed his palm before returning their hands, still joined, to the bed.

"So how did you end up here?"

"Hmmm?"

Meredith tightened her grip on his hand. "How did you end up in my bed?"

Derek smiled. "Well, once upon a time, I was at Joe's wearing my good-looking red shirt..."

Meredith shifted around to face Derek, resting her hands against his chest. She could feel the steady beating of his heart. "I really don't want to think about Joe's right now."

Derek rested his lips against her forehead. "I'm sorry."

"So…?"

Derek yawned. "Izzie pulled me out of a surprisingly sound sleep early this morning to read me the riot act. I was afraid she'd come back, or Alex would be next, so I hoped I could hide out with you."

"Morning breath." Meredith frowned.

"Huh?"

"You have morning breath." She pushed Derek away from her. "Go scrape your teeth."

Groaning, and still wearing his clothing from last night, Derek rolled out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. His hair sticking out in all directions. "Am I coming back?"

His question seemed to have more than one meaning. "Yes, you can come back."

Missing Derek's body heat, Meredith snuggled under the comforter and listened to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. As surprised as she was to wake up in Derek's arms this morning, it felt so damn good. Yawning and stretching, Meredith closed her eyes.

"I've really missed this." Derek's minty-fresh breath tickled her ear as he settled back into bed, pulling Meredith against him. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Derek rested his head against hers. She absently noted that Derek had shed his clothing, wearing only his boxers as his bare muscular leg found its way between hers.

"Me too," Meredith admitted. The feeling of being enveloped by Derek, nestled in his arms, was indescribable. It was all encompassing but not overwhelming.

"Derek," Meredith signed.

"Hmmm," He nuzzled her hair.

She giggled. That seemed to be Derek's favorite noise this morning.

"I hope you're not expecting any sex right now." Meredith's backside moved gently against his erection.

"That's not helping."

Meredith turned around and pressed a kiss against his stubbled jawline.

"That's not helping either."

"I'm sorry," She giggled again. "I'm trying to use my words with you. I can't help it if my body gets in the way."

"I don't mind if your body gets in the way…" Derek lowered his head, intending to take Meredith's soft pink lips in toe-curling kiss but her hand blocked his path.

"Derek. Just because we talked about last night doesn't mean I'm over what happened. Seeing you, and her, I don't know if you realize how much that upset me." Meredith leaned back a little to look into Derek's blue eyes. "How would you feel if you saw me drunk and making nice with the guy next to me? Leaning? Smiling? Silencing your phone calls?"

Derek looked at Meredith, seeing the pain in her grey-green gaze with a clear mind. What he wouldn't give to undo everything and wipe the anguish from her soul. He knew seeing Meredith with someone would be the equivalent of what she was feeling times a thousand. It would make the agony Derek felt in seeing a wet Meredith at Finn's that night seem like a walk in the park.

"I know saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough. What else can I do?"

Meredith drew in a slow, deliberate breath and slowly exhaled. "I don't know. I think I just need a little time and space."

Derek frowned sharply at Meredith's use of the word "space."

"Space?"

"I mean sexual space." Meredith slid her hands up Derek's chest to cup his face. "I just can't be intimate with you right now. I keep seeing you and her."

Derek relaxed a little. "So we're still…us?"

"We're still us." Meredith nodded. "And I know we still need to talk but after…"

Derek's growling stomach interrupted Meredith, reminding Derek of how long since it had been since his last meal.

"Sounds like someone needs some food," Meredith giggled.

Derek chuckled. Her giggle drove him to grab Meredith for a quick kiss before he rolled out of bed.

Meredith watched as Derek pulled on his jeans. Seeing him standing next to her bed in his blue jeans, top button undone, and his bare chest had Meredith wondering about taking sexual space. He grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, I think the last time I had anything was a salad at lunch yesterday. It was a long day."

Meredith pulled back the comforter and got out of bed. Donning a pair of sweatpants with her t-shirt, Meredith grabbed Derek's hand and led him from the room.

"Come on, I think we still have some cold pizza in the fridge."

"That almost sounds appetizing," Derek paused. "I can't believe I just said that."

"Wow, you really must be hungry," Meredith laughed.


	12. Chapter 12

"Can I suspend the Hippocratic oath so I can kill a patient?" Izzie forcefully slammed her lunch tray down on the cafeteria table and sat down.

"Having a good day so far Barbie?" A tired Cristina toyed with her salad.

"Shut up Cristina!"

"Oooh, Barbie is pissed. I'm scared."

Alex grabbed the seat next to Izzie, trying to ignore her shifting away from him.

"What's wrong Iz?" Alex grabbed a french fry off her plate.

Shooting Alex a dirty look, Izzie addressed Cristina. "If I hear the name 'Bethany Whisper' one more time, I'm going to grab a ten blade and start swinging!"

George and Callie take the last seats at the table. "Who's Bethany Whisper?" Callie looked from Izzie to George, who tried to warn Callie with an urgent shake of his head not to pursue the topic.

Izzie retrieved a crumbled piece of paper out of her pocket and tosses it at Callie, who deftly captures it with one hand.

"Impressive," Alex nods at Callie, his mouth full of tuna fish.

Callie unravels the wad of paper. It was a page torn from a magazine, an advertisement for women's lingerie. Callie stares at the woman depicted in the ad, glances at Izzie before returning her attention to the ad.

Cristina shrugged. "I told Izzie that if I were her, I'd walk around naked all the time."

Izzie silently warns Alex not to say a word. Alex smirks, "Too easy."

Izzie reaches across and snatches the offensive piece of paper from Callie's hands, shoving it back into her pocket. "Someone left an old magazine in a patient's room. The guy kept grabbing my shirt as I checked his stats and asking what I had on underneath it."

"So," Cristina interrupts. "What happened with Shepard after I left last night?"

George snorted milk through his nostrils. "Dr. Shepard? Last night? Where did you see him?"

"George, you have milk dripping from your nose," Cristina looked at George in disgust as Callie hands him a napkin. "He came past Meredith's."

"God, I hope he didn't drive," Callie gasped. "He looked pretty bad when we saw him."

"When did you see him?" Alex is curious.

"In Joe's parking lot. He was holding onto a car trying not to fall over."

"I must have missed you two by seconds," Cristina grinned. "He and I had a little heart-to-heart in the parking lot after we saw him in Joe's with some bar skank."

"Joe told us about that," Callie nodded as George choked on his milk. "Grey was all over him."

"Meredith wasn't with Derek at Joe's last night." Izzie corrected Callie. "She was with us. We all saw him with the skank."

"What is it with you and that milk Bambi?" Cristina grumbled.

Callie thumped George on the back. "I think he's trying to say that skank has a name."

"How would Bambi know the name of a skank?" Alex chuckled. "Especially that one?"

"Because she works here," George wheezed. "Dr. Lexie Grey."

"George, Lexie Grey is the name of Meredith's half-sister." Izzie stated. Cristina, for once, was at a loss of words.

"That's the name she gave before I pulled the barstool out from under her." Callie opened her container of yogurt.

Cristina was impressed. "Nice. Just when I think you're a boring married lady, you rise."

George looked at Callie as if she had sprouted a second head. "You did what?"

"Please George. That girl wasn't listening to a word you said. So I provided a little reinforcement."

"You pulled the barstool out from under her?" George repeated.

A beeping noise had everyone grabbing for their pagers.

"Having trouble understanding English O'Malley?" Alex looked at his pager. "Guess it's me. Oh Yang, Mer wants you to meet her at Joe's tonight." He grabbed his tray and left the table. Izzie watched as Alex disposed of his trash and stopped past a table of nurses. Olivia had waved him over. After a few words, Alex left the cafeteria.

"That's kind of harsh Callie," Izzie remarked, her gaze resting on the nurses' table. "Did you stop to think that she may not have realized Derek wasn't available?"

"Please Stevens. From the way she was going on about Derek's hair, that never crossed her mind. And George, in his gentle way, tried to explain the facts of Seattle Grace life to young Dr. Grey." Callie leaned forward. "Nothing was registering."

"What is your problem, Izzie? Are you defending her?" Cristina frowned.

"No, I'm not defending her. I just think dumping a drunken, clueless female on the ground is a little excessive." Izzie toyed with a cold French fry. "Besides, we have a bigger problem."

"What?" George was confused. The three women shared a look.

"Meredith's half sister," Callie brushed an imaginary speck off of George's shoulder. "Is interested in Meredith's boyfriend." Callie looked Izzie. "Is Shepard still Meredith's boyfriend?"

Izzie nodded.

"Figures," Cristina threw her fork onto the tray. "Besides, there's an even bigger problem."

Izzie, Callie and George looked to Cristina for guidance.

"People, why do I need to remind you that Meredith has no idea her dear, darling, apple-of-her-father's eye half sister is now employed here?"


	13. Chapter 13

(I'm sorry it's taken so long between chapters. S4 kind of killed my interest in all things GA, but I'm slowly coming out of it. Can't watch any of the reruns, but I'm finding refuge in fanfic again. I don't own the show or the characters, but I thank God for fanfic!)

"So, O'Malley, no ball and chain tonight?" Alex flicked a peanut shell at George. They, along with Cristina and Izzie are at Joe's seated around a table waiting for Meredith and Derek to arrive.

George ducked the projectile. "She's on-call tonight."

"Cristina, do you know why Meredith wanted to meet you here?"

Cristina sat back and surveyed the night's after-shift crowd. Luckily the body count wasn't as high as last night's. "I'm not a mind reader, Izzie. Are you?"

"Well, its strange Meredith wants to come back here so soon after last night. I don't know if I could." Izzie turned to Alex. "What exactly did she say?"

Alex turned his peanut shooting attention on Izzie. " 'Tell Cristina to meet me at Joe's tonight.'"

"That's all she said? You're sure?" Izzie was disappointed. Maybe Alex forgot some of their conversation. She needed details.

Izzie deflected the incoming peanut, and grabbed a handful from the peanut dish Joe thoughtfully set out on every surface in the bar. Her throw nails Alex square in the forehead. Before long, the peanuts fly back and forth with force. George and Cristina scoot back to watch the slinging match, and bet who will miss their target the most.

As Alex starts his windup for his next peanut pitch, a hand grabs his wrist and deprives Alex of his ammo.

"Guys, these are for eating," Joe shook his head. "If you want to throw something at each other, go grab some darts."

"So Joe," Cristina holds out her hand for the rescued peanuts. "Did Callie really dump McDreamy's date on the ground?"

"Please understand I do not advocate violence against women," Joe dropped the nuts into Cristina's hand. "But yeah, Dr. O'Malley yanked the stool right out from under her."

An embarrassed George buried his face in his hands. "Oh Joe, why didn't you stop her?"

"She's your wife, Doc. Not mine." Joe wiped down the tabletop. "And Dr. Yang, she wasn't his 'date.'"

"Please Joe, I was there."

"And so was I. Young Dr. Grey may have misinterpreted a drunken smile or two…"

"And a lean," Cristina snickered.

"And maybe a lean," Joe agreed. "She tried pretty hard, but Dr. Grey was not Dr. Shepard's date."

"How was the look on McDreamy's face when you served him Meredith's drinks?"

"Not very pleasant, Dr. Yang." Derek interrupted.

Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex turned to see Meredith and Derek standing hand-in-hand near their table. Close enough to be within earshot but not seen. Derek motioned to Joe for their drinks before seating Meredith and himself at the table. When Meredith suggested drinks at Joe's, Derek hadn't expected they'd be joining her friends but he should have known better. It didn't matter, though. If she asked him to walk over hot coals, Derek would do it without a second thought.

Derek rested his arm along the back of Meredith's chair. She shared a smile with Derek and nestled against his side. After a breakfast of cold pizza for her, muesli for him, and pleasant non-'The Talk' conversation, Derek had returned to his trailer to clean up and for fresh clothing. He kept his promise to return for their evening at Joe's. Meredith hated that she was starting to inch back under her banner of avoidance. She mindlessly gravitated towards it. They had to talk at some point, but things were good right now, and that was the point of it all, wasn't it? Why upset things if things were good? Things were good, weren't they?

Cristina wasn't shy in staring incredulously at the drink Joe set in front of Derek. "More scotch? You're seriously having more scotch?"

"Speaking of drinks, I can use another beer. Anyone else?" George nervously stood up from the table. When no one responded, he made a beeline for the bar.

"Yes I am Dr. Yang." Derek grimaced as the sip of scotch hit the back of his throat.

Cristina looked at Meredith. "Seriously?"

Izzie nudged Alex, who had been sitting with great interest watching the developing storm between Yang and Shepard. "What?" Alex rubbed his side where Izzie's elbow made contact.

"Go throw darts with Derek," Izzie hissed at him. "Make sure he doesn't throw them at Cristina."

Cristina shifted in her chair so she was facing Derek. Meredith could easily tell by her posture and expression Cristina was preparing for battle. And she knew Derek wouldn't shy away from one, even if the other combatant was Cristina. Ten blades at twenty paces.

Derek coolly returned the look. Cristina recognized the challenge in the neurosurgeon's face. Pistols at dawn.

"Cristina, let him off the hook."

Cristina remained silent.

"Let Derek off the hook." Meredith repeated. "Last night was a huge mistake. He's well aware of that fact. We're working on things. But you have to let him off the hook."

"No, I don't." If it was possible to sharpen a glare, Cristina accomplished it.

Meredith turned to Derek. "Why don't you play a round of darts with Alex and George?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Derek whispered in Meredith's ear. "We can leave." His warm breath against her ear caused Meredith's body to goose bump in interesting places. She wasn't sure, but Meredith could have sworn his lips ever so lightly grazed the outer shell of her ear. The spot still tingled.

"We're ok," Meredith encouraged. "Go play." She rested her hand on Derek's denim-covered thigh. The muscle underneath her hand contracted as she gently squeezed it and rubbed the inseam with her finger. Derek shifted in his seat before covering Meredith's hand with his. Meeting Derek's darkening blue gaze, Meredith grinned.

Izzie nudged Alex again. Hard. "Yes, go play some darts."

"Ow! Damn it Izzie, watch your elbow." Alex rubbed his side again. Izzie managed to nail Alex in the same spot.

"I wouldn't have to watch it if you'd go play some damn darts!"

Chuckling, Derek placed a quick kiss on Meredith's mouth as he and Alex stood up. "After you, Dr. Karev." Derek gestured with his glass of scotch.

Meredith watched as Derek stopped by the bar to grab George as the three men made their way over to the dartboard. She found herself admiring how stonewashed denim complemented Derek's perfectly sculpted backside and muscular legs.

"Why should I?" Cristina groused.

"Hmmm?" Meredith continued studying Derek.

"Why should I let him off the hook?"

"Because I'm asking you to. Because this is on Derek and me. Because when I need you to help me drag his body away, I will call you. Please Cristina, I can't have you two at each other's throats all the time."

Cristina considered Meredith's words for a moment. Izzie and Meredith shared a worried look.

"It's not enough."

"What?"

"It's not enough," Cristina decided. "Because you're asking me to isn't enough. I've seen McDreamy put you through hell, and I've had to hear about it. And I'll hear more. It's not enough."

Meredith toyed with her shot glass. This is the longest she has sat with a glass of tequila untouched. "Because I love him enough to work through this. I can't do that if my family is ready to slit his throat. It was a very stupid circumstance. I believe him."

"You really do?" Izzie questioned.

Meredith nodded. "I do. I admit one reason I came back tonight was to talk to Joe. But Derek has never lied to me." She holds up a hand to silence Cristina, whose mouth closes as soon as it opens. "Yes, as Alex pointed out I do remember the name 'Addison.' But I am trusting him on this."

Cristina glanced over to the dartboard area before raising her glass in a toast. "In the Neurosurgery God we trust."

Raising their glasses, Meredith and Izzie mimicked Cristina and turned toward the dartboard area. They watched in surprised silence as the woman from last night stood off to the side, observing the men throw darts.

"Oh Mer, by the way, meet your sister Dr. Lexie Grey." Cristina motioned to Joe for another round.


	14. Chapter 14

Cristina's words echoed inside Meredith's head. "Meet your sister…"

The barstool floozy was her sister? Thatcher's daughter?

"You can't be serious?"

Cristina studied the glass in her hand. "As a heart attack."

Izzie looked from Cristina to Meredith. "Do we want to go over there?"

They turned their attention back to the dartboard area. Derek, Alex and George didn't seem aware of their audience. Beer in hand, Lexie stood off to the side, next to a small cluster of nurses also watching the game of dartboard and admiring the players.

"Yeah Mer, do we want to go over there?"

Meredith sat back in her chair. Did she want to go over there and meet the sister she didn't know existed until recently? The daughter Thatcher was crazy proud of. The daughter Thatcher fiercely protected. The daughter that mattered to Thatcher. The daughter that was currently watching her boyfriend in his great ass-enhancing stonewashed denim jeans throw darts?

She probably should, to make sure she stops watching Derek. But not really.

Meredith's avoidance banner was unfurled and flying high.

George assigned himself the role of scorekeeper for Derek and Alex, scratching tic marks on a semi-dry cardboard coaster. Currently, the game was even. Alex's last toss managed to hit the bullseye, and now it was Derek's turn.

"Mind if I ask you a question, Dr. Shepard?" Alex watched as Derek lined up his shot.

"Not at all, Dr. Karev." Derek had a feeling what Karev wanted to talk about.

"Are you feeding Meredith a bunch of bullshit?"

"No."

"She seems to think you're telling her the truth about last night."

"I am."

"She seems to think you've never lied to her before."

That caught Derek's attention. He turned, dart in hand. "Are you calling me a liar, Dr. Karev?"

"I have one word for you."

"And that is?"

"Addison."

"And I have a word for you. A couple, actually."

"Oh yeah?"

Telling Karev to "fuck off" was on the tip of Derek's tongue. Strangely enough, he appreciated what the younger man was doing. "Thank you."

George looked up from his scoring task. Dr. Shepard and Alex were in the middle of a conversation. He couldn't make out the words, or read lips, but he could see the tension. Neither man cracked a smile.

"Dr. O'Malley."

George turned to see Lexie Grey standing next to his stool. Closing his eyes, George sighed deeply, wondering what he did to deserve this. He opened them to look at the young intern, hoping she was a figment of his tipsy imagination. But she was still standing there. George didn't see any resemblance between Meredith and Lexie. If anyone asked him, he thought Meredith kicked her ass in the looks department.

"Do you think Dr. Shepard would talk to me?"

George drained his beer glass. What in the hell did he do to deserve this?


	15. Chapter 15

This must be karma for his wife dumping the girl on the ground last night.

"Dr. Grey…"

Lexie kept her gaze trained on Derek and Alex. "Yes Dr. O'Malley?"

"Do you remember our conversation from last night?"

Lexie looked at George as if he had grown a second head. She studied him for a moment as scenes from a slow moving movie starring herself filtered through her head. "I remember falling off my stool."

"Do you remember our talk about Dr. Shepard?"

Lexie thought again. All she remembered was nice hair and falling off her barstool. She was glad her mom wasn't around to see her get so drunk she couldn't stay seated.

"George, I'm getting refills. Do you want another beer?" Derek asked.

George looked over at Derek and the empty glasses in his hands. "No thanks, I'm good."

With a nod to both George and Lexie, Derek excused himself. George found relief in the lack of recognition on Derek's face as he glanced at Lexie.

This may not be so bad after all.

"Why do you want to talk to Dr. Shepard?" The way Lexie's eyes moved from George to follow Derek as he walked away made him frown a little. "Dr. Grey?"

Lexie watched the older man as he moved towards the bar. She did remember him, well, his hair, from last night, and discovered from a couple of nurses earlier today that he was Dr. Derek Shepard, dreamy neurosurgeon extraordinaire, who was currently dating her half-sister Meredith. Dated her half-sister before his wife came to town and then left her half-sister who dated a vet before Dr. Shepard finally left his wife for her half-sister. Nurse Debbie had been proud of winning $200 in the Shepard vs. Vet pool.

The half-sister she didn't know existed until shortly before her mom died.

Meredith, Cristina and Izzie continued watching the scene before them.

"Why is she talking to George?"

Cristina backhanded Izzie's shoulder. "Shut up, I'm trying to read her lips."

Izzie returned the slap. "You can't see that far!"

"I have perfect vision, so shut up!" Cristina hissed.

"She said 'Shepard." Cristina turned to Meredith. "I'm positive she said it."

Meredith held her breath as she watched Derek approach George and her "sister." Molly had spoken of how crazy proud Thatcher was of Lexie. Thatcher's offspring grew up to be bright and shiny, protected and loved. They weren't cursed with her dark and twistiness. Meredith wondered if Derek would find that attractive.

Both Izzie and Cristina looked to Meredith for her reaction as they also watched Derek approach George and Lexie. They released their collective breath as Derek spoke to George and barely glanced at the woman standing next to him before walking to the bar. But Meredith still held her breath as she observed Lexie's eyes still on Derek.

That spurred her into action. Springing up from her seat, Meredith cut through the small crowd to stand beside Derek at the bar while he waited for Joe. She slipped her arm around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Hey!" Derek slipped his arm around Mer and pulled her snugly against his body, pressing a kiss against her forehead. "Thirsty?"

Meredith tipped her head back and found her face very close to Derek's. So close their breath intermingled with lips millimeters away from touching. Glancing at his mouth, Meredith considered the distance and realized it wouldn't take much to cross it.

Space is overrated.

Rising up on her tiptoes, Meredith pressed her lips against Derek's. Both were momentarily stunned by perfectness of the contact, and any thought of Lexie was pushed from Meredith's mind by the firm glide of Derek's lips over hers.

"Is that Meredith?" Lexie motioned toward the figures engaged in a heated lip lock at the bar.

George twisted around to see Meredith being very thoroughly kissed by Derek.

"Yep. That's Meredith."

"My parents never mentioned her." Lexie sighed. "I guess Mom started talking to Meredith a few months before she died. Molly knew about it, but no one told me."

George couldn't tell if the look on Lexie's face was "happy she found a sister" or "sad she lost the man."

"Dr. O'Malley, do you think Dr. Shepard would talk to me?"

"Why do you want to talk to him?"

Lexie turned back to George. "I'd rather not say. It's personal."

"They're at it again." Alex dragged a stool and set it next to George. "I knew I should have gone for my own drink." They looked over to Derek burying his face in Meredith's hair as he held her close and her arms looped around his waist.

For once George was thankful Alex intruded in a conversation. He didn't like the direction this one was going.

"Alex, have you met Dr. Grey?" George motioned to Lexie.

With Derek sucking Meredith's face at the bar, Alex had grown thirsty, bored and curious to know what George and Meredith's sister were talking about. "So you're Meredith's sister…"

"Half-sister," George corrected.

Lexie looked at the two men. "How do you know that?"

Alex shrugged. "When you work at the hospital, you know stuff."

"Who are you?"

"Dr. Alex Karev."

Lexie giggled. "Ah, you're 'Evil Spawn.' " Both men noticed the giggle didn't come close to Meredith's melodious one.

Alex frowned while George almost split his side laughing.

"And I wasn't going to mention it, Dr. O'Malley, but I hear you're 'Bambi.'"

Alex smirked while it was George's turn to frown. "I'd rather be 'Evil Spawn' than 'Bambi' O'Malley."

Izzie watched as young Dr. Grey turned her attention to Alex as he grinned at something she said.

"What were you saying earlier about ten blades?" Cristina pondered as they watched Alex and George with Lexie Grey.

"I might start with a ten blade and move up to a bone saw."

Cristina raised her glass in a toast to the thoroughly miffed Izzie.

Derek broke the kiss and brushed his nose against Meredith's cheek. He had almost forgotten they were in a public place as Meredith brushed her hips against his rapidly growing erection. The bar noise surrounded them as Derek smiled into lavender-scented hair.

"You do realize you have to stay where you are."

Meredith reached between their bodies and lightly rubbed her hand against his zipper and the hard ridge straining behind it. She smiled as Derek's hips moved against her palm.

"Oh really? Well, I see Cristina waving me back to the table. I'll be…." Stepping away from Derek, Meredith squealed when he yanked her back against his body.

"You're not going anywhere," Derek whispered, then raising his voice a little louder than normal speaking volume. "So, Dr. Grey, what is the outer coating of the brain called?"

Meredith was confused. "Cerebral cortex, why?"

Derek forced himself to continue to think of anything non-Meredith to control his raging erection. No way was he strolling out of Joe's with a much noticeable hard on. "What are the three main structures of the brain?"

"Cerebrum, cerebellum and the brain stem." Meredith leaned back so she could look at his face. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to concentrate on anything but you…"

"So you'd rather teach a Neurology 101 class in Joe's than concentrate on me?" Meredith wasn't sure if she should be offended or not.

Derek chuckled at the semi-insulted look crossing Meredith's face. "I need to not concentrate on you so we can get out of here so I can concentrate on you."

Blushing slightly at the thought of Derek "concentrating" on her, Meredith's gaze fell on the threesome by the dartboard: George, Alex and Lexie. Then she remembered. Space. Sighing deeply, Meredith stepped back half a step and looked up into Derek's questioning face.

"Space, remember?" Meredith reached up and cupped the side of his face. "I'm sorry."

Nodding, Derek rested his forehead against Meredith's. "I am too." Derek whispered.

"Are you two done yet?" Arms crossed, an amused Joe stood waiting while freshly refilled drinks sat on the bartop. "I didn't know I was also providing a floor show tonight." Meredith shrugged apologetically and returned to Izzie and Cristina as Derek made his way back to the dartboard area.


	16. Chapter 16

(Not sure how I feel about this update. It's a little filler-ish but with a purpose. As always, thanks for reading and commenting, and I have nothing to do with GA.)

Derek carried the drinks back to Alex and George, thinking about space. How he and Meredith had too much of it. Meredith wanted space because they needed to talk and she needed to get past his stupidity from last night. But when were they going to talk? He turned his attention to the table. Meredith, Cristina and Izzie sat conversing and sipping their drinks. The night was still young, and they were both sober. What the hell?

"Thanks."

The voice made Derek realize one hand was empty. He turned to find Alex helping himself to his drink.

"Sorry, but I'm thirsty and I've been waiting a while." Alex shrugged. "Watching you and Grey suck face really made me dry."

Rolling his eyes, Derek pressed his scotch into George's hand. "You look like you need a drink, Dr. O'Malley. This one is on the house."

With barely a nod to Lexie, she and George were left staring at Derek's retreating back before either one could say a word.

"Admit it Izzie, you're stuck on Evil Spawn." A tipsy Cristina crowed louder than Izzie liked.

"Shut up, I am not!" Izzie removed the half-empty glass from Cristina's hand. "You are a loud, nasty drunk."

"I think Cristina is on to something Izzie," Meredith giggled. "You throw stuff at Alex like you're in high school. You want to kill whats-her-name…"

"Your sister Lexie."

Meredith shot Cristina a very dirty look. "…for looking in his direction. Face it Iz. You like Alex."

"A little support would be nice Mer." Izzie grumbled. "I wasn't first in line to slit Derek's throat last night. If I say I'm not interested in Alex, then I'm not interested and you need to support that."

"And while I appreciate your help last night, you have to admit your behavior around Alex has been weird lately." Meredith shrugged.

"Define 'weird.'"

"Questionable."

"Define 'questionable.'"

"Weird."

"What's weird?" Derek kissed Meredith's cheek while grabbing his leather jacket from the chair next to her.

"Izzie likes Alex and is embarrassed to admit it." Puzzled, Meredith watched Derek don his jacket.

"I'd be ashamed to admit in public too." Cristina couldn't let it go. "Evil Spawn and Barbie, sitting in a tree…"

"Cristina!" Izzie muffled Cristina's off-key singing with her hand.

Derek pulled Meredith's chair back from the table and her up from it in one smooth move.

"What are you doing?"

Derek grabbed Meredith's jacket, purse and arm. Throwing a "good night ladies" over his shoulder, Derek quickly escorted Meredith from the bar. 

"You seriously think you have a chance at getting any tonight, Dr. Shepard?" Meredith smirked as she brushed a wayward curl from his forehead. "We're taking space, remember?"

Lying facing each other in Meredith's bed, Derek mimicked Meredith's pose of her head propped up by her elbow, resting on her hand. His finger gently traced the neckline of her Dartmouth t-shirt.

"You're the one who said I could stay tonight. I'm here, you're here, so I think I stand a pretty good chance." His finger moved onto a shoulder seam.

"I love sleeping with you. Wrapping myself around you and sleeping. You know, eyes and legs closed." Meredith's fingers journeyed across Derek's cheekbone and into his soft curls. "I've missed that."

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I've missed your snoring."

"Well, I've kind of missed your morning breath."

Derek turned slightly into the touch of Meredith's hand tracing the outer edge of his ear. He knew it wouldn't take much to persuade Meredith to forget about space, but Derek was trying his best to respect her wishes. He wasn't sure how much they were back on track and he didn't want to screw this up. Derek didn't know how many "second chances" were left.

"Mer…"

"Hmmm…"

Derek reached for Meredith's hand, kissing it before placing it on the bed between them. "You're too distracting right now."

"I am?"

"You are." Derek drew a deep, steadying breath. "We need to talk." He hated the worried look in her eyes. "You said we need to talk about things. Everything."

"You want to talk now?"

"I think we should."

"About everything…?"

Derek shook his head, and laid his hand over hers, trapping it against the bedsheet. "Don't think we can cover everything in one sitting. But we need to start somewhere. We need to start."

Meredith leaned backward, inserting a little distance between herself and a distasteful topic. "We're not talking about last night. We've already done that."

Derek leaned forward. "We're not talking about last night. Unless you want to, we don't have to talk about it ever again. But we need to figure out what happened to us. We drifted, and I never want to go through that again."

Glancing at their hands, Meredith turned her hand palm up against his, their fingers intertwining. "I don't either." She whispered.

Meredith didn't resist as Derek rolled onto his back, pulling her body against him. Resting her head on his shoulder, Meredith draped her leg over his and settled her arm across his torso. Meredith couldn't see the smile on Derek's face as she nestled closer to him. She enjoyed the feel of his hand gently stroking her back.

"What did you want to tell me?"

"When?"

"Last night, on the porch. You said you needed to tell me something."

Derek tried to concentrate on Meredith's question. Their cozy cocoon was slowly draining his brain of any rational thought process.

"You can't remember?"

Porch scenes floated through his partial memory of last night. Derek remembered coming to Meredith's house and finding her seated on the front steps. After talking, Meredith offered her couch to him. In his mind's eye, Derek watched himself stand before Meredith and say 'there is something I need to tell you.'

Surprisingly, it came back to him. Webber. He had to tell Meredith about Webber.

Meredith felt his slow, steadying deep breath. "Derek?"

"I'm not going to be chief."

"What?" His brief, emotionless statement caught Meredith's attention.

"I am not being considered for Chief of Surgery."

Meredith quickly sat up, looking at Derek in shock. "Why the hell not?"

"Because of a promise made to your mother."

"What?" Meredith couldn't understand what Ellis had to do with this.

Derek pulled Meredith back down to him.

"Your mother asked the Chief to take care of you. And by removing me from consideration, he believes he is keeping his promise." Derek tightened his hold on Meredith. "I wasn't very happy."

It took Meredith a few moments to absorb Derek's words. Why didn't he say anything? And how could a woman lacking maternal instinct and in the throes of Alzheimer's ask a former lover to take care of her adult child?


	17. Chapter 17

(GA & its characters belong to Shonda – not me...)

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" Meredith pushed back from Derek, straining against his arms til she was able to sit up. "And what do me and my mom have to do with your not getting Chief?"

Derek reached for her. "Mer, it doesn't matter."

"Oh yes it does. You came to Seattle to be Chief. And now because of my mom you can't?" Meredith was incredulous. "It doesn't make sense."

Derek sat upright, resting against the padded headboard. He really didn't want to rehash the details. After meeting with Richard, it had taken Derek a week to cool off. "Richard said the job killed his marriage, and he didn't want it to kill us. So, he was removing my name from the list."

"Seriously?" Meredith's hands clutched the comforter, bunching the fabric in her fists. Derek reached for one of her hands, gently prying the material away.

Meredith watched his hands remove the comforter from her hands, and take her hand in his. She had so many questions. "Why didn't you tell me? When did this happen?"

Derek kept his eyes on their joined hands. "About a week ago. Mad doesn't come close to describing my reaction to Richard. It felt like my career, as I knew it, came to a complete stop."

"God, no wonder you didn't want to be around me," Meredith felt cold.

"No!" Derek tightened his grip on her hand. "Don't you ever think that!"

"I called you Derek. Left messages…"

"Which I returned."

"Some of them, and a day later."

"I know," Derek ground out. He knew he had avoided Meredith. He didn't like to be reminded of it. He never blamed her for Richard's decision. But he needed perspective and time to get rid of the anger. "I know."

Meredith shook her head. His behavior made sense now. Derek wanted Chief of Surgery. Badly. He moved to Seattle for it. Ok, with a healthy shove from Addison and Mark, but he moved across the country for it. And because of her, Derek got screwed. Without a kiss.

Without a second thought to her actions, Meredith moved toward the edge of the bed. She had to move. She had to go.

"Stop!" Derek's hand clamped around her wrist and pulled. Meredith lay sprawled, face down, anchored across his body before she realized what happened.

"No Derek, I can't…" Meredith tried to crawl toward the edge of the bed. She really had to get out of the room. She couldn't take Derek blaming her for losing Chief of Surgery. Deep down, Meredith knew he blamed her. He blamed her, and he was going to leave.

"Stop it, will you?" Derek insisted, his tight grip on her body prevented any movement on her part. "Will you quit running away?"

His comment stilled her struggle. Did Derek really want to go there?

"That's what you do." Derek continued.

It appeared Derek did want to go there. "That's what I do?"

"Yes."

"And what do you call what you do?"

Meredith watched Derek close his eyes with something resembling regret as he realized what words fell from his mouth. His grip loosened, allowing her to scramble off the bed and stand next to it. As much as she dearly wanted to be somewhere else, defensively curled up in a ball in the back of her closet hiding from the pain she knew was coming, Meredith couldn't move. A greater fear kept her anchored to the side of the bed. "Derek, what do you call what you do?" She blinked to keep tears back.

Feeling Meredith leave the bed, Derek opened his eyes expecting to be alone in the room. He was surprised to see Meredith standing, arms crossed, next to the bed. The look on her face brought back a painful memory of the exact moment in the scrub room when she realized he was staying with Addison. "Meredith, can we forget that I just said something incredibly stupid?"

"Derek, what do you call what you do?"

"What I do?" His confused blue gaze met her wet, pained eyes, darkened to a stormy grey.

"What you do." Meredith sighed. It felt as if a person other than she spoke. "I'll admit, I may have been scarce recently. But I did reach out to you a few times. I do not recall you doing the same."

Meredith watched with a strange sense of detachment as Derek roughly thrust his hand in his hair, pushing it off his forehead. He was frustrated.

"I was pissed off at Richard."

"Why couldn't you tell me that?"

Derek thought about the anger consuming him all week. Being denied his career goal because of his personal life. Because of the woman he loved. Because of Meredith. He pushed to keep that anger at bay. He knew it wasn't her fault. He never blamed her for Richard's decision or Ellis' request. She was thrown in the middle of it.

"I couldn't tell you why Chief wasn't mine."

Hearing the heated tone of Derek's voice, Meredith took a step back from the bed.

"The Chief pulled your personal life into this, and it's my fault?" Meredith questioned. "You got involved with the wrong woman, and it's my fault?"

"I'm not saying it's your fault…" Derek moved toward Meredith, but stopped when she gestured for him to stay put.

"Yes you are. That's why you stayed away." Meredith labored to keep her voice down, tried to keep her breaths slow and even. "Derek, I know I run. I run from the certainty of pain. I have no idea what you're running from. Richard screwed you, and you didn't tell me." She inhaled. "You ran."

"I knew you'd take this the wrong way." Derek shook his head. "I didn't run. Susan died and then Thatcher in the waiting room…" Derek cringed as he thought of his delayed reaction to the slap, and watching Meredith run down the hallway. "I didn't want to dump my problem and anger on top of all that. Besides," he continued. "It's not like you came to me."

"My waiting at home for you was my coming to you," Meredith shook her head. "Sure we were in this weird place. We weren't good, but we weren't horrible either. But for the first time in a while, you said you were coming over. With food, even. So I sat. And I waited. I did not run. I didn't make an excuse why you couldn't come over. You never showed. No Derek. No phone call. Nothing." Meredith glanced down at her bare feet before meeting Derek's eyes. "I never asked you later why you didn't show. I guess I was afraid of what you'd say."

God, how did talking evolve into finger pointing? They were going to talk and calmly clear the air to fix themselves. Not do this. Derek rubbed a tired hand over his chin. "You didn't look like you missed me."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I did come by. You were in the living room with Alex and Izzie drinking tequila, having a good time. You didn't look like you missed me."

Meredith took a seat on the edge of the mattress, her hip mere inches away from Derek's legs. "Alex and Izzie live there, Derek. I didn't invite them over." She paused, her hand tracing the fabric pattern across his leg. "Why didn't you come in?"

Derek didn't consider himself a jealous person. But what else would explain the upset he felt that at the end of the day Meredith had, she turned to Alex and Izzie and not him? That upset stopped him from ringing the doorbell. At the time, it made all the sense in the world. Meredith pushed him away. Again. And turned to her friends.

"You had Izzie and Alex. You were smiling after the day from hell. I felt I'd be a third wheel. So I left."

"I don't understand. I didn't have Izzie and Alex. They live there. There were...there. I was waiting for you."

Having his fill of the hurt, confused look on Meredith's face, Derek reached for Meredith before she could react. Anchoring her against his chest, Derek scooted backwards, leaning against the headboard. With a great sigh, Meredith rested her head against his shoulder and wrapped an arm around him.

"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about Chief." Derek whispered into Meredith's hair.

Meredith tilted her head up. She could see the regret on his face. "Chief is big, Derek. Really big. I know how much it means to you, and not telling me about it...hurts. A lot." Reaching, Meredith brushed her lips against his.

Derek's lips returned the caress. "I really wanted to be there for you at Susan's funeral. It did upset me that you didn't let me go with you."

"I'm sorry." Meredith returned to her place against his shoulder, her hand rubbing slow, gentle circles over his heart. "I'm not used to anyone being there for me. I only know to doing things by myself."

"And I'm really sorry I didn't kick your dad's ass for what he did."

"His name is Thatcher," Meredith responded. "Not 'Dad.'"

Gently grasping Meredith's chin, Derek raised it so he could fit his mouth over hers. Using his lips, Derek tried to erase the pain and misunderstanding that existed between them. His tongue tenderly nudged her lips, as if asking for permission to enter. In reply Meredith opened, allowing his tongue to sweep inside and caress hers. Winding an arm around his neck and bringing him closer, Meredith met Derek stroke for stroke, seeking more of his taste, more of him. The sound of heavy breathing and wet kisses filled the air as their lips and tongues sipped and soothed in mutual apology for days of pain and separation.


End file.
